Hearts at Home

Each year my girlfriends and I get away from our families. We pack up the min vans and head to Rochester, MN for a Ladies' conference on professionalizing motherhood/wifedom. I am so thankful for my husband. He took care of the girls all weekend. They went to the zoo while I was gone!

Maybe you remember last year's post on Hearts at Home?

This year's keynote speaker was Dr. Kevin Leman.I would love for you to click on his name and learn a bit about who he is. He has some great books! He's been around the media world. Maybe you've heard of him? He was a hilarious speaker (not sure if he meant to be). I would LOVE to be at one of his marriage seminars!

The more I learn about it, study it, pray about, etc...the more I find that I am becoming passionate about being a Godly wife and Godly mother. We all are, right? There's something more....it's a craving and desire for me. The more I learn...often the more I want to learn. I s'pose that God has a reason for that.

Anyhoo, I love going to the conference. Having a great group of friends around me is priceless. We ate at a fabulous Italian restaurant called Victoria's Italian Restaurant. Chicken Parmesan. Mmm, delicious.

As with just about anything, there are things I would change about the conference. For instance, I would love to have a longer time of corporate worship and a minimized time of a band promoting their recent CD. But, hey--that's just me.

Here are the sessions I went to:

1. What Not to Wear!

In this class we talked about the common body shapes. I discovered (though, I kinda knew this already) that I tend to gain weight evenly-which is helpful in the fashion world. I am a "soft" when it comes to colors that best suit me.

2. Why You Are the Way You Are

Dr. Leman discussed birth order and how it factors into your life and behavior. VERY INTERESTING. I especially found his list of celebrities and their birth orders fascinating. According to him, this is what I tend to think, "I'm not bossy. My ideas are just better than yours." Um, well, I am embarrassed to say that he pretty much has me pegged- I am a people pleasing first born (add type A to that and you can just put me in a box!). First born's tend to excel at organizing and planning. They are leaders. They are successful and a little too serious. They are movers and shakers and a first born's critical eye can get them into a little trouble now and then. Interestingly enough, first borns are often attracted to a controlling spouse. I could go on.....but you should just read the book.

3. Finding the Hero in Your Husband

This class wasn't totally what I expected. Though, I am not clearly sure WHAT I expected. Does that make sense? The speaker discussed a man's basic needs and a woman's basic needs. She posed the question, "what do you do with your frustration?"

She opened by reading a paper written by a college student. The assignment was something to do with qualities you want in a spouse. She was teaching a group of singles in a Christian college...some association to Dr. James Dobson....Anyways, this paper that she read was hilarious. This particular girl had a VERY clear and idealistic picture of what she wanted...all the way down to eye color, measurements, etc. I think the speaker's point was that women are impossible to please!!!! I guess we've seen a few too many Disney movies.

She described 2 needs for women: 1) Women need to feel valued, top priority to husband, appreciated and heard. 2)Women need to feel protected. This wasn't so much a physical protection. Women need to feel rest in their spouses provisions, hearts and arms. Make sense?

For men: 1)Respect is a priority. She explained that men need to feel successful to their spouses above all else. 2) Help-husbands don't want your help until they have your respect. 3)Sex-enjoyment and initiation for both. She mentioned the release of oxytocin (did I get that right?)

I also picked up a few parenting tips from Dr. Leman's main session talk. A few of which I implemented with Ella right away. He was discussing his new book, Have a New Kid by Friday. He has so many funny voices for kids. His name for his wife was Mrs. Uppington (she's a type A, firstborn). A few random statements he said (and I liked):

1. Don't let your child's immediate happiness dictate your parenting style.

2. No warnings.

3. Disengage in the battle. Walk away.

4. Our children need some vitamin "N" or "no."

5. Respond rather than react.

Again, these are all random statements that represent a topic of our discussion.

In addition to studying ways to improve our roles as mothers and wives, we also honored our friend who fought adn won the battle against breast cancer this year. We all wore these shirts that read, "Fight Like a Girl!" It was fun to honor her in that way and we got a lot of second looks!